Kindergarten

The kindergarten search begins. I never could have imagined how much work it would be to figure out where to send my kid to school. The No Child Left Behind Act coupled with a brief stint as a substitute teacher has made me really consider whether or not public school is a good option. Add this to the fact that CJ will be a "young" kindergartner and there is so much research out there on how negatively this can impact boys and you have one confused Mama.

I feel like this is our first big test. This is the really the first big decision that we could royally screw up. It's intimidating. Do we delay kindergarten even though his teacher's say he's clearly smart enough for kindergarten? The issue isn't about smarts, it's about socialization and the ability to focus as well as his peers that are almost a whole year ahead of him. Do we just send him to the local public school because it's kindergarten and how bad can it really go? Can we get him into the kindergarten that I love? If we do get him in, can we afford to pay for it? Are we complete idiots for paying a fortune to send a kid to kindergarten? Should we do the local charter school even though the pictures make the kids look like little soldiers?

I'm feeling very stressed about the process. We're trying to take it one step at a time. We've visited our first school (the one I absolutely love) last weekend. There are some drawbacks, but I met the teacher and it really looks good. CJ liked it. We'll need a scholarship for him to attend that school though. I've made a list of about 6 schools for us to check out. Hopefully, we'll find several that feel right. Then we can look at the financial aspects. I'm beginning to think maybe I should go into corporate law just so that I can have the kind of money it takes to send CJ to a school I really like. It's amazing. I always thought that more time was more important than more money. I hope that is really true.

There's A Black One...

So...it's finally come up. The issue of race has hit our house. It's come up before, of course. CJ, like any child, has noticed the differences in skin tones and commented on who has brown, orange, peach skin before. Never before has he used the word Black to describe someone though. In fact, more than once I heard him correct someone who said a person had black skin..."It's brown not black...you are so silly." This morning though I'm doing a video on Exercise TV and he blurts it out...There's a black one. What? Where do you learn that? It's not like he used a bad word, but it's clear that the meaning had changed in his head. I don't know why or how. I quickly said something like "what do you think of him?" This was in an attempt to figure out where he heard it or if something had been said to him in a negative way. His response was "He looks cool." I let it go.

Now I am on the computer trying to locate information on how to teach my 4-year-old about race. I am feeling good about the positive steps we've made. CJ is exposed to diverse groups of people (although not as diverse as I would like) and we do take him to cultural events all the time. Many of his books are multicultural and many of his favorite shows are multicultural. That's great. I'm glad we can bring all of the positive images and experiences to him. I just don't know how to teach him the history and how to negate the negative images and stereotypes that he injests on a daily basis on TV and out and about around town. Is it appropriate to start explaining it to him now? I think it is. I don't believe in the "we're all the same" mentality because we are not all the same. I want him to know and understand (at the appropriate level for his age) that society isn't set up on an even playing field and that individuals face all kinds of different barriers (not just racial). Most importantly, I want him to understand that it's our responsibility to help lower those barriers not only for ourselves, but for other individuals as well.

If anyone has any great resources on the subject of teaching children about race, can you please forward me the titles? I am guessing that Ronald Takiki is a bit advanced, but simply putting on his favorite Little Bill episodes is probably not advanced enough at this point.

Technology Repeated

Okay...so I know I posted about technology awhile ago, but I have to bring it up again. I am just amazed by how easy it is for CJ to use technology. CJ has been playing on the computer for about 6 months. We would log him on to PBS Kids and sit and play games with him. We slowly began to let him play a few times on his own. About a month ago though Case was in the other room finishing up laundry when he heard what sounded like one of the games on PBS Kids. Thinking it strange as the laptop had been turned off and the lid was closed he came out to see what was going on. When he walked out he could not believe it. CJ had opened the computer, pushed the start button, clicked on the Internet, typed in PBS until the PBS Kids info came up, clicked on it, and picked out a game. He was happily playing the Georgie game. He just turned four in July. We were just shocked. He was told no playing computer without Mama or Daddy's permission. I just think it's so strange how kids just pick up on it. Mind you, Case or I are usually on the computer between school and work. Still I can't believe how easy it was for him to pick up. Now Case and I are trying to figure out if we need parental blocks and how to put them on. I just wonder if other kids are like this and if so what parents are doing about it. I know the suggestion is no more than two hours of total screen time per day, but honestly most days he gets more than that especially during the summer when he didn't have school.

Notice

So something really hit me this week and I wonder how many of my friends face the same thing so I thought I'd write about it. This week I came home from work and went about the evening as I do every night. About 4 hours or so after I was home, Casey finally asked me how I like his face. Those of you who know him know that he has a goatee. Now that he's a stay-at-home Dad his goatee can often times get a bit scraggly as it isn't so important for him to look groomed for the kids. Anyway, I really like it when he trims it down and shows a bit more of his face. I looked up from my book and saw that he had done just that, trimmed it down, and it looked great. It dawned on me that he had to have done it earlier that morning in the shower. I had seen that day for lunch and had been sitting no farther than 10 feet from him for over five hours and had not even noticed. It startled me a bit.

It's made me think how often do we go through life not noticing. Not seeing what is right in front of us. Case and I, like many couples with children, are often distracted. Added to the normal responsibilities, one of us is always in school in the evenings so we often pass by each other without much interaction. We are working on this. Still the fact that I obviously had not even looked at his face really bothered me. I remember when we were young how I could sit for hours and just stare into his big blue eyes. It's not that I have time to do that anymore, but you would like I would at least notice his face.

Last night it was the same type of thing. I came home from work. Case left for school. CJ was taking a nap. Ceirnan and I were playing when I suddenly remembered I needed to get on the computer to check on a work e-mail. Next thing I know I've spent over 20 min. looking at e-mail, checking Facebook, paying an online bill, and not being present. I wasted almost 20 min of time while Ceirnan crawled around. Oh, I looked up to make sure she was okay, but I really didn't see her. It made me sad to think about. I closed the computer and have vowed to stop...just stop...take notice...be present.

Technology Generation

Aah...technology. We all use it. We all love it. At least most of us do. I know I am certainly not the most technology driven person, but I use a fair bit of it each day. Why am I bring this up? Well, I'm a bit scared about where all this technology is taken us. As a college instructor, I am constantly reminding my students to put their phones away or watching them clearly spending time IMing on their computers while I am trying to teach. As a law school student, I saw the complete panic some of the younger students (I was about 10 years older than most of them) had when a professor simply stated no computers allowed in this class. I always found it interesting, but now finding that balance has become crucial to me.

CJ has become the technology wizard. He loves it. He sends text messages every night to his Nana. He could spend all day on the computer if we let him. We don't even have to help him. He knows how to use the mouse and flip back and forth around pbskids.org and sproutonline.com faster than I do. He loves it. On one hand, I figure it's better than TV because at least he's interacting and is playing educational games. He likes the games dealing with numbers and math the best. It's truly amazing to watch him click and navigate the web like it's second nature to him. On the other hand, I don't want him to become so addicted to those games that things like Chutes and Ladders are no longer fun. Don't get me wrong. He has a brilliant imagination, but I do worry that he'll lose that ability if he spends so much time on a something that can create things for him. Ceirnan is in on the act too. She has definitely figured out the importance of the cell phone and is always trying to play with the buttons. She loves the remote control too. I'm sure she'll follow right in her brother's footsteps.

I know the simple answer for now is to limit all of his screen time (TV and Computer), but I definitely wonder what a difference it will make in his life as we move forward.

Coolest

Just a quick note to remind myself that having children is brilliant. Last night Ceirnan said Mama for the first time and meant it. It was amazing. Then CJ turned to his Dad and said, "You're my hero." I thought Case's smile would literally explode his face. Then this morning CJ said Case and he were the coolest. Case asked what Mama and Ceirnan were and he said, "well Daddy, they are just sweet...so sweet." I could have hugged him forever.

CJ is just getting smarter and smarter. His newest phrase is "this is incredible! I mean really." He's incredible.

For Girls

So we've hit that time. At almost 4, CJ finally uttered the words...I can't get that. It's for girls. It broke my heart. I know it is related to him going to school because the little girls there often tell him "this is just for girls" but he never really paid attention to them before. This time he flipping through a catalog picking out things for his birthday party and remarked he couldn't get the pink pirate set. Mind you he has the pink pirate cards at home that he loves. It really bothered me as I tried desperately to figure out how to explain to him that he didn't need to follow what society deemed to be appropriate for boys and girls. My mind started racing toward all of the things he might now limit himself to because it was a guys thing. Would my sensitive boy stop caring so much or decide that boys don't cry? Will he feel that he has to play sports instead of paint pictures? Will he give up believing in fairies as they are all marketed toward children? Breathe, Courtney, breathe. This morning he woke up, put on several of Ceirnan's pink and purple hair bows, and decided he wanted to wear at least one for the day which he did while he did his morning run from the stop sign to the car. SIGH.