Progress Report

This week CJ's school had parent-teacher conferences. Yes, he's 3 1/2 and he already has a parent-teacher conference. Not only did we have a conference, we received a complete evaluation or progress report. Given that last year he was only 2 1/2 and was just becoming potty trained I'd say he progressed nicely. To be fair, the teacher thinks he doesn't have any real gaps either. The question is why did I feel so strange during the conference? Why did a feel a sense of defensiveness even though there was nothing to be defensive about. Partially, I think it's because I find it a bit strange that children so young are being "evaluated" even though it shows that the program he is in is a good one. Partially, I think it's because it's the first time we've been through it.

The teacher didn't really say anything that surprised me. CJ is above average in cognitive and language skills compared to his peers, but is a bit behind socially. This is precisely why we put him in preschool. It's also a bit frustrating because it's not something we can "help" with except to keep exposing him to children. We have absolutely no children around us and none of our friends have children. Unless we happen to go to a party where someone else's friends have children or are back in Kansas City, he gets no interaction with children outside of preschool and music school. The information did solidify our decision that we need to find some camps for CJ this summer just so that he can keep interacting with children. The teacher said he seems to like the other kids and he is very kind so they love him, but that he isn't likely to try and play with them or to join in a group. That raised more questions for me too- how much of those things are developmental and how much of those things are personality? One of the tools on the evaluation dealt with sensory toys (namely playdough) and it was marked he only likes to play with those things occasionally. Maybe the kid just doesn't like playdough or maybe he thinks that they aren't playing it right since Mama will only let him play it when there is wax paper down. How does not playing with playdough indicate that he might be a bit behind in Fine Motor skills?

The other thing he likes to do is visit every station (painting, blocks, etc) more than once during free time, which means he doesn't spend much time at each station. The teachers seem to think this is very odd and might be related to his development. However, CJ and I are a lot alike and I feel like I know why he does it. He likes lists and to check things off. For instance if I ask what he has done that day, he will say- ate breakfast... check, brushed teeth... check, went to Kmart with Daddy...check. I know it sounds strange, but that is completely the way I am and was. I can remember writing myself lists as young as around 6-7 at school just so I could put the check mark next to the item when I was done. I liked seeing all the check marks at the end of the day. Isn't that more of a personality thing that a developmental one? She doesn't seem to think that he can't concentrate at the task only that he likes to choose all of the tasks.

This conference also brought up an issue I've already started thinking about. When should CJ go to kindergarten. The teacher explained that some of his social delay is in line with his age, but are more apparent because he is the youngest one in his class. A couple of his peers are almost a whole year older than he is. It begs the question of whether we enroll him in kindergarten when he's five because he is smart or do we wait until he's six because his level of maturity will be more in line with that class? I don't think we really need to think about it this year, but it's definitely a concern of mine.

All in all it just made me realize this only gets harder.