Extended Breastfeeding

Okay...so I'm coming out with it. I know this particular issue is one that gets people talking and one that most people do not understand. I participate in extended breastfeeding. Ceirnan is 28 months old and she still nurses. Yes, she can talk and usually signals that she's ready to go to sleep by saying, "Mama, I want to nurse." Yes, I was one of those people who used to say that a child who can ask to nurse is too old to be doing it. Yes, when I went to the breastfeeding class, I, and almost all the other pregnant ladies in the room, called the trainer crazy. And yes, there are times when even I think it might be a little creepy. There I said it. However, I am glad that I am trying the self-weaning method at least for now.

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for two years or beyond. That is why I knew I wanted to breastfeed my kids for at least two years. I didn't really think I would do it that long though. I figured once the kids started eating regular food, they'd lose interest. Neither one ever did. I know that there are benefits to allowing them to breastfeed longer. With CJ, I waited until he was about 26 months and then just stopped it one night. No warning for him. Little warning for myself. I just said he's old enough to stop now. What made that day different from the day before I do not know, however. He cried for a few nights and it broke my heart, but he survived and so did I.

With Ceirnan, I thought for sure she'd give it up. She's so active and not one who ever wants to go to sleep. Here we are at 28 months though and her nursing time is her favorite part of the day. I think it's partly because it's Mama and Ceirnan time. She gets me alone. I notice this the most when we are in big groups and she grows tired of all the noise. She's whisper in my ear, "I want to nurse." Well, this made me start reading more about extended breastfeeding and approaches to weaning. I started to think that the self-weaning method makes a lot of sense. Why did I up and tell CJ that one day he was my little boy and the next day he was a big boy and couldn't do this anymore? We didn't potty train him like that. We got him used to the idea of the potty and told him (essentially) to follow his bodies cues. It made me realize that it doesn't make any sense to force Ceirnan to stop feeding if she likes it and it's not hurting her.

I also started to look at research that shows breastfeeding for longer does provide benefits for children. Benefits include reduced risks for ear infections, better vision, decreased risk in diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, and central nervous system degenerative disorders. It also shows that children who are breastfed longer are more likely to be smarter. (See Dr. Sears article) A professor, Kathryn Dettwyler, who happens to teach here at UD, is an expert on breastfeeding and her research shows that children will naturally wean between 2 1/2 to 7. The research has been fascinating to read. What is more fascinating to me is how few women actually breastfeed. According to the CDC, only 14.8% of women are exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months and only 23.8% of women are breastfeeding at all at 12 months. There is lots of research out there and I am fascinated by the subject. I am particularly interested in why American women choose not to breastfeed at such high rates.

Okay, so am I going to let Ceirnan (or my future children) breastfeed until 7? No, not likely, but I don't see anything wrong with her feeding for a while longer. In fact, I believe I am providing her with beneficial nutrients to support her growth and greatly needed emotional support to help her be independent.

Breastfeeding

First, I just want to make clear that every mother needs to make a decision about breastfeeding on her own and in the best interest of her child. I have plenty of friends who have chosen formula or have supplemented with formula for a variety of reasons. I am not one of the women who looks down on other mothers for making decisions that are different than my own especially when those decisions are necessary for the happiness or health of their children. All that being said...here is my discussion on breastfeeding.

It's hard. LOL! No one tells women how hard and tiring breastfeeding can be, which is why many women get frustrated and give up. I was lucky. Both on my children took to breastfeeding immediately. Don't get me wrong there is a bit of a learning curve, but they both pretty much latched on right after the were born. CJ didn't let go for two years. I believe in the health benefits of breastfeeding and exclusively provide breast milk for the first year until cow's milk can be given.

It's amazing. It creates, in my opinion, a wonderful bond with your child and allows you time to soak up motherhood. Since they both loved to feed I spent the first 6-8 weeks feeding and feeding and feeding and feeding them. There are times when it doesn't feel amazing. When you are so tired you think you're going to pass out. When you do pass out and then feel guilty because maybe he or she could have fallen. When you realize that you will never again have the same shape you once did.

However, breastfeeding is especially important to me being a working mother. With CJ in particular, I really felt like I was missing out. I had to work;I was in law school during the evenings; and the commute was an hour or so each way. We really couldn't afford for me to stay home or at least we thought we couldn't at the time. The time that I spent breastfeeding was CJ and Mama time. It was the one thing I could give to him that no one else could. With Ceirnan a lot of the same feelings are there, but its not as stressful because my husband is a stay-at-home dad now, we live within five minutes of work, and I finished school.

I remember vividly breastfeeding in the car outside of the law school or running back to Philly (a 60 min. drive) to breastfeed quickly before turning around and going halfway back before school. It was stressful. The more stressful part was pumping. I know some women who swear by it, but the breast pump is my nemesis. I hate it. I hate all that it represents. I hate having to sit in my office and attempt to think about my child (who I am heartbroken to leave) and try to squeeze out enough ounces for the baby while I'm gone.

This time around it's easier. I'm pumping 2-3 bottles a day while she is only eating 1 bottle a day. I've got piles of milk frozen. It's awesome. With CJ I had to pump around 24-32 oz per day since I was gone so much. There were times when it just didn't happen. Then I would panic and be up half the night trying to get a bit more out. Then there are days, like today, when I forget the pump so I just sit here hurting and knowing that it's going to be that much harder tomorrow since my body is catching the signal that I don't need as much milk any more.

I'm glad that I do it. I feel good about it even when people think I'm crazy for it. Even when I get stares from people if I'm out. It makes me feel like I may never be able to give them all that they need, but at least I can give them this.